Have you ever been walking through Target and saw some kid having a total meltdown over a toy only to be absolutely FLOORED when the mom puts the toy in the cart & the kiddo stops crying?
Have you ever been eating somewhere and been totally SHOCKED when you saw a mom fill her kid’s bottle up with sweet tea?
Have you ever been scrolling through social media and been BAFFLED when you come across a picture of your friend’s child wearing an absolutely inappropriate outfit?
Have you ever been APPALLED when you saw a kid at the park running around with no shoes on & dirt on his face while his mom sits on the bench scrolling through her phone?
You know what I have to say about all those feelings you felt….
MIND YOUR OWN MOTHERHOOD!
And the same goes for those that have judged YOU for parenting YOUR way!
It seems like judgement is becoming increasingly common. Gone are the days of everyone doing what they feel is best and we all agreeing to disagree. Nope, today we judge & shame someone for doing things different than we do. This applies to pretty much everything in the world but for the purposes of today we are going to focus on motherhood & all the damn judgement that comes with it.
It starts before you even have the baby. Are you having a natural birth or going for an epidural? Well, I’ve heard epidurals cause autism. What? You are having 3 baby showers?!? How selfish of you! Then the baby comes & the judgement really starts pouring in….Are you going to breastfeed? I mean fed is good, but breast is best. Your putting your baby in daycare? Oh the germs! You got your baby’s first shots already? Delaying their immunizations is a better route. Your’e putting rice cereal in their bottle? Oh no, that isn’t good. Co-Sleeping? Oh no, that is so dangerous! Cry it out method? That is child abuse! You’re not following their lead on napping and insisting on a nap schedule? That is a terrible idea! Here is the thing, the judgement doesn’t stop….in fact it just continues to get worse and worse as your child ages! You got your 10 year old a cell phone? Are you crazy? You bought your 16 year old a new car? They always wreck the first one! You are making your 17 year old work during their senior year? They should be enjoying the thrill of being young! You’ve applied to community colleges? Oh no, we’re only looking at ivy leagues over here. (I also want to note that these are pure examples and may or may not reflect my actual views but you what? my actual opinions do not matter to anyone but me so who cares?!?)
Whether YOU choose to breastfeed, put your kids in daycare, & give them sweet tea for breakfast isn’t anyone’s business but YOURS. You are the mom & as long as those kids are getting their needs met, not being abused, & are generally happy kiddos, everyone else can mind their own d@mn motherhood! It is NOT Karen’s business if you are getting the v@x for your family or not. It is NOT your business if Karen is getting the v@x for her family. As moms, we have got to agree that we have enough sh!t to worry about besides each other’s business! We have got to agree that unless our opinion is asked for, we need to keep it to ourselves. And can we quit with the excuses of “I was just trying to educate her” or “I just care about the safety of her kids.” Come on! Just STOP with the excuses and assume the momma is doing what she thinks is best based on her own judgement, education, and love.
I don’t know about you but quite frankly I am over the division among mommas. Our jobs as mommas, whether we rear face until they are 12 or send them to private school, are hard enough. Can’t we agree on that? Can’t we build a friendship & love for one another on the simple fact that being a mom is the hardest job in the world?!? Can’t we say, I don’t care about your personal decisions [that do not affect me or my family] because I care about YOU as a person, a mom, & a friend?!? Can’t we agree that not a one of is doing it 100% perfect? Can’t we agree that we are all tired, stressed, and pulled in 10 directions? Can’t we agree that we all need a cheerleader in our corner instead of a Debbie Downer in our face?
I truly think motherhood should be something that unites us women. I think until we all agree to MIND OUR OWN MOTHERHOOD that we are going to continue having more division than unity. Let’s all agree to mind our own business & cheer each other on rather than give our un-valued opinions & tear each other down. Next time you have some judgmental thought about the way a momma is handling her kiddo, remind yourself to MIND YOUR OWN MOTHERHOOD. (Side note here, we are humans…it is impossible not to think a negative thought when someone is doing something you don’t really believe in. However, how you handle that thought is totally something you can control!) Next time some Petty Betty gives you her opinion on the way you are parenting, tell her to MIND YOUR OWN MOTHERHOOD!
If the Mind Your Own Motherhood mantra is something you want to help me spread the word on, I have designed some tees to spread the message. They are $20 & can be purchased here!