Monthly Challenges, Raw & Real, Special Needs

Stick With Kindness

by LA

My fears throughout the years:

  • Youth (10-17ish): the dark, my mom being mad at me, the lunchroom on the first day of school, roaches
  • Early Adult (18-23ish): failing a college class, getting a DUI, not finding “the one”, roaches
  • Mid-Adult (24-26ish): losing my job, unexpected bills, losing a loved one, roaches

After we adopted Quin, my fears shifted. Suddenly my biggest fear became something bad happening to my child. Now that I am in the Special Needs world, my fears have shifted again. I still fear something bad happening to Quin, I think that is just a mom thing. (And I still fear roaches….) Now, though. Now,  I fear something happening to me. Gosh, that sounds so self involved, but hear me out….. Who will take care of Quin if something happens to me? While I don’t do it perfectly, nobody can be Q’s mom as good as me…in my opinion. Who will keep up with his medication? Who will take him to therapy? Who will go fight those tough IEP fights?  I really worry about that a lot…more than I care to admit. However, the worry that keeps me up at night is the fear of someone being mean to Quin because of his differences.

I literally tear up typing that. One of my biggest, keep me up at night, stressors, is some bully picking on my child because he is “special needs”. I literally have to stop typing to gain my composure. I don’t know why it moves me to tears so much but just thinking about my baby, at school, being picked on because of things beyond his control just breaks my heart. For whatever reason kids are mean. Obviously not all kids. Probably not even your kid. But kids in general are just mean.

Whether your child is considered special needs or is a typical child, you may share this fear with me. My challenge, not only for November, but for the long term, is to STICK WITH KINDNESS. If we, as moms, get in this mindset to stick with kindness, our kids will do it too. After all, they are always watching us and always learning from us.

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New catch phrase. New cup!

It starts at the top. It starts at home. From politics to sexual orientation to race. It is all over the news. Our kids are seeing it every single day. They are seeing grown adults act like fools on the TV over trivial stuff. Look at it through a child’s eyes. They are learning “Oh, we should be mean to someone if they don’t think the same thing as us”. Then it moves to social media…these mom groups on FB. You guys. There is so much HATE in these darn groups. Debates turn into name calling which turns into mud slinging pissing matches over HPV shots, over breast milk, over home schooling, over cellphones for kids, over marital problems, over pregnancy tests, over rash pictures, over cloth diapers, over pre-k programs…literally stupid sh*t. How in the heck can we teach our kids about cyber bullying and how terrible it is when MOMS are doing the same thing within their SUPPORT groups?

I spent some time on StopBullying.gov I wanted to add some meaningful content to this post. I wanted some facts and figures to drive the message home. However, when I came across the “Who Is At Risk” post, I had to stop.  I had to stop because in the section about “Children At Risk Of Being Bullied” I found that my child meets at least half of the criteria. If I am being honest, I knew all that already. However, reading it, in black and white, on a government website, just further spurred my fear and sent my anxiety into over-drive.

As I type this, my thoughts are going in all different directions. I have typed, erased, and typed again so many times. I just can’t seem to find the words. I don’t want this post to sound negative. I don’t want this post to be accusatory. I don’t want this post to make me sound like I am some Ellen level saint that just exudes kindness all the time, because I am human and have my slip-ups like everyone does. I just want this post to serve as a reminder that kindness is good. We should all Stick With Kindness.

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How pretty is this cup?!? You know you want it! Comment below and it could be yours!

Speaking of Ellen, she is the queen of giveaways. She rewards kindness on every single episode. Today, I am taking a page out of her playbook and doing a giveaway. One week from today (11/8/18) I will give one lucky winner a custom made Stick With Kindness tumbler! This 30oz stainless steel tumbler is SO STINKIN’ cute. It’s loaded down with multi-color glitter and features our new Stick With Kindness logo! My fellow HMM, Brandy, makes one-of-a-kind tumblers and has graciously donated this cup to support the HMMC’s mission to Stick With Kindness. If you can’t wait to win one, I have added some exclusive HMMC Stick With Kindness tumblers to the online store!

Entering the contest is easy! Just comment below. That’s it! Comment and you are automatically entered to win. The winner will be announced on 11/8/13! ***11/8/18 Update: Congrats to Jennifer W. on being our contest winner! Thanks to everyone who participated! Stay tuned for more giveaways!***

Another Ellen thing (Can you tell I love her?!?) is ending each show with “Be Kind To One Another”….well I don’t want to be a copy cat so I’ll end this post with Stick With Kindness.

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38 thoughts on “Stick With Kindness”

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      2. I thought it was you but I didn’t want to say your last name on the video and be totally wrong!! Congrats! I’ll send your prize your way!! 🌵

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  7. Such a good post! I’m right there with you on the worrying about something happening to me. It’s not selfish at all. We all want our kids to be happy and safe, and they need mommy to make that happen.

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  10. Ellen fan here! Leah fan too!

    Fears, man. They’re so real and evolving and somewhat situational. There’s so much realness and truth to everything you write! And roaches… yes!

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  12. Such a good read! Bullying is something all of us mommas worry about but especially us special needs moms. I’m already seeing how kids are starting to take advantage of Hunter’s gullible ness (is that a word?)
    Stick with Kindness! ❤️

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    1. That’s one of my worries…Q’s ability to pick up on social clues isn’t that good. I’m afraid this will cause him to be an easy target. Hugs to you!!!

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  14. This is so true!!! Love the new slogan, and what a better place this world would be if everyone just chose to be freakin’ nice!!! 🙌🏼🥰

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  15. I love this so much !!! ❤️❤️❤️
    That’s something I’ve already started worrying about with Ollie as he’s getting older ! I love the stick with kindness challenge! The world would be such a better place if everyone would !

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  17. Oh my goodness, I had to pull myself together for this one. I share so many of the same fears. Bullying is one of my biggest fears as well. And while most kids have been sweet to J, little things already are going on like not getting invited to things, kids not including him… It’s not like I didn’t know this day was coming. And yes girl, we just are going to have to live forever because most people would have given up a long time ago. Our kids are blessed! Hugs to you 🤗

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  19. I feel all the same emotions when it comes to standing up and fighting for Barrett! I worry that he will get picked on for his curvy back, but I have to remind myself that he is strong and if he needs my help, I’ll be there always! Keep being an awesome mama!

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  25. Your husband is so lucky. You are too wonderful. I understand how you feel. My daughter has a son ( my grandson ) who has Apaxcia. He cannot speak. Some sort of disconnect in his brain. Otherwise he is fine. She goes through the same thoughts you do. He started pre school and she spoke to the teachers and every parent of every student in the class. All because she didn’t want her baby to be bullied. I feel your fears.

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  27. Love this! The blog, the message and the cup of course! And you sweet friend- I have those same fears too and it literally keeps me up some nights, we are in this together!

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