Pedicure Etiquette

A true Hot Mess Momma loves getting a pedicure. The warm water, the massage chair, the hot stones, the steam towels, the lavender scented lotion, the blissful massage, the perfectly painted toes…HEAVEN ON EARTH…an hour of escape that doesn’t happen nearly enough for us HMMs. There is nothing better than a relaxing pedicure.

The other day I was getting a pedicure on my lunch break (Listen, mommas gotta find free time where they can and sometimes my lunch break is my only kid free time for the week). I was sunk into my massage chair, legs dangling in the hot water, while watching whatever soap the nail salon had on that day. I was in my own quiet little world enjoying a great lunch break…

UNTIL this lady came in…she wanted a slice of heaven too so they sat in the chair next to me…why they had to sit her RIGHT NEXT to me, I don’t understand as there were 5 other empty pedicure chairs further down but whatever. She sat down and immediately began talking about where was her favorite nail tech. (Obviously she is not a regular because the nail tech she was referring to sold the place and moved to California in early December.) The nail tech asked her if she wanted something to drink (again, regulars know they have Coca Cola, water, hot tea, or white wine) & she spent a good solid minute debating OUT LOUD if she wanted coke or water…she preferred Diet Coke but since that wasn’t an option she “guesses she’ll settle for water”. As she was getting settled in her chair, she got her cell phone out of her purse and WAIT FOR IT ….. MADE A FREAKING PHONE CALL!

You guys!! I almost lost it. I mean seriously. PUT DOWN YOUR PHONE. You are getting a pedicure! When you stepped into this nail salon, you stepped out of the real world and into a world of relaxation. You don’t need your phone in the relaxation world. You need to close you eyes, day dream about a clean house, and figure out if you want Posey Pink or Firey Red toes for the next few weeks. Your hour of bliss will be over soon and you’ll step out of the relaxation world and back into the real world and you can resume your normal daily operations such as talking on the phone to your girlfriend about whatever gossip you have that day.

My hot stone pedicure was about 90% finished when she started her phone call (with her neighbor) so thankfully I got to spend the majority of my time in total bliss. The last 15 minutes of my time in Relaxation World was spent listening to this lady loudly gossip about the neighbor across the street, about some sale at Belks (BTW it is BELK no S on the end…), the snow storm and how disappointed she was that it didn’t snow and instead she was iced in for nearly 2 days and was just about to go insane not being able to get out and breathe fresh air. Literally y’all. I was so irritated with her talking on her phone and ruining my few minutes of quiet time.

So ladies, let’s make a pact with each other. Let’s agree that when we go get a pedicure we turn our phones on silent & leave them in our purses for the duration of our spa time. Can we all agree that we won’t ruin each others sacred quiet time by talking on our cell phones about stupid stuff? Can we all agree that our time in Relaxation World is precious and we should treat it as such?

I pinky promise (and we all know those are worth gold) you that I will never be the loud lady on my phone ruining your pedicure.