When Q Monster gets sick, I always think “If I could take this away from you and it be me instead of you, I totally would.” When JHub gets sick I always think “If I could take this away from you and it be instead of you, I totally would.”
However, after suffering from some sort of stomach bug/food poisoning episode last week, I am starting to think differently. Being a mom while sick just flat SUCKS. The people of the house still need to eat. They still need clean clothes. They still need entertainment. They still need to be kept alive and safe. They still require MOM to function.
It all started around 2am Sunday morning. I woke up feeling straight BAD. I knew everything I ate on Saturday was getting ready to come out however I wasn’t sure which end. A little bit later the answer became clear: BOTH. Y’all it was terrible. After an early morning bathroom trip, I made my way to the couch and tried to get some sleep…around 6 I finally started to doze off. (Let’s take a quick moment to discuss the true cleanliness of your bathrom…you never realize how badly your bathroom needs to be cleaned until you are on your knees & face deep in your toilet at 4am! I will forever make “Bathrooms” the #1 priority on my cleaning to-do list just in case I am ever sick again!)
QMonster woke up at 6:30 and of course had to be WITH ME. So we hung out on the couch, watching TV. I tried sleeping while he watched his shows but between him squirming to get comfortable and him talking to me about his show, it didn’t happen. After his 500th request, I got some energy up and went to get him some milk. When I was making the milk, I felt the familiar sick feeling coming on so I hurried with his milk and rushed it to him before running to the bathroom.
When I get sick, I cry. I don’t know why but I do. So here I am, hugging the toilet, crying, trying to get my hair out of my face, saying “Jimmy. Jimmy”…like waking him up is going to do much for me at this point. He eventually wakes from him peaceful slumber and comes to investigate and says “Babe are you sick?” UHM YEAH FOOL I AM. After my time in the bathroom was over, I cleaned myself up and made my way to bed. Eventually QMonster made his way back to my room and we all laid around watching TV.
For the next 4ish hours, our day looked the same…laying in bed, watching Nick Jr., mommy going to the bathroom. At some point Jimmy made his way to the living room. I later discovered he made a frozen pizza for breakfast. That’s right, my boys had PIZZA FOR BREAKFAST. Eventually Q got restless and JHub took him outside and I got some good rest. When they came back in, Q was GROSS. Of Course, since he is a momma’s boy, only I can give him a bath…so we hike upstairs, get his bath going, I laid on his bed suffering while he took his bath. At some point I decided that washing the sheets would be a good idea so I hauled myself downstairs and threw the sheets in the washer….Why I wasted the energy, I don’t know, but I did. Q and JHub went back outside a little bit later…yes AFTER his bath they went BACK outside…so I got some more rest…this time laying in my bed with no sheets on it because of my genius idea from earlier.
When the boys came back in, JHub was hungry. I, of course, was not. HE PROCEEDS TO MAKE TACOS. Y’all. I LOVE TACOS. Why on the day when I can’t eat is he making my FAVORITE food? Why he is making smelly food when my stomach is already in knots? I stayed in bed during dinner time. Eventually QMonster started wearing out and was ready for bed. Of course, only mommy can do bed time so I laid in bed watching Nick Jr and snuggling while he went to sleep. I remembered that the next day was Monday which means school and work…which means I need to get clothes laid out because there is no way in H*LL I will wake up on time, get ready, pick out both of our outfits, AND be on time. So again, I wait until I have some energy, throw some clothes out for Q and I before calling it a day and going to bed myself.
I woke up Monday morning, looked around my house, and realized why moms don’t need to take a sick day. Y’all my house is A DISASTER. I CANNOT be sick on my prime cleaning day EVER AGAIN. Really I can’t be sick ever again on any day because my boys NEED me. Like NEED ME to cook decent meals and clean up when they are finished. NEED me to get their clothes ready for them for the next day. NEED me to entertain them. NEED me to do the laundry. Moms can’t go down. So I am in the market for a good vitamin and I guess I’ll be heading to get my flu shot so I can try to fend off any future illnesses.
Oh, and to top it off, after all that time I spent in the bathroom I only lost ONE freaking pound. The only good part of having the stomach bug is the easy diet plan. All that suffering for one pound.